I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
