meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
