So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
