Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
