Don't make out with my wife yet
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
