Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
