when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
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dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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