He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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