"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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