Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
