remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need water and some morals
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
