so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
