It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
