So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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