Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
