Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize