and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
