I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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