We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
