I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
