I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
