i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
