Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
