Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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