Your dad touched me again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
