Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
