Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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