Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
