Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
