At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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