i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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