You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
