..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think i peed on brittanys purse
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
