Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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