I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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