She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He has the fingertips of a God
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