Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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