glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
