C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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