There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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