how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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