I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
