Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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