Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
