Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Randomize
