wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How naked do you want me to be?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize