i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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