After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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