it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
of course. lets lasso hookers.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit