Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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