I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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