OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday