Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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(801): how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up. http://tfl.nu/xh0f

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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE! http://tfl.nu/ymdz

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.

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(502): You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear. http://tfl.nu/hwjh

Replies (17) Good night (5843) Bad night (901)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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(513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne

Replies (25) Good night (14831) Bad night (1813)
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(989): View more from Michigan

It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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(989): It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here. http://tfl.nu/e0yb

Replies (6) Good night (3374) Bad night (1250)
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(630): View more from Illinois

there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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(630): there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have? http://tfl.nu/04yo

Replies (22) Good night (3304) Bad night (1374)
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(360): View more from Washington

I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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(360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w

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(831): View more from California

YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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(831): YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL. http://tfl.nu/sk5h

Replies (21) Good night (1861) Bad night (819)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.

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(610): I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/akfs

Replies (6) Good night (897) Bad night (1729)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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(319): I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls. http://tfl.nu/wkuc

Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (851)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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(613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf

Replies (10) Good night (2618) Bad night (560)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..

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(978): I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it.. http://tfl.nu/ofn7

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"

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(202): I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later" http://tfl.nu/n53s

Replies (0) Good night (720) Bad night (353)
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(408): View more from California

im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

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(408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m

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(562): View more from California

I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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(562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix

Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (729)

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