so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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