so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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