my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dick very happy bro
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
