drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
