I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
