one might say we're banned from that church
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
