they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
