I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
