Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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