I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have fence marks all over my body
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
