this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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