Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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