How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
