to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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