I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
